Bollywood, rejoice! You're finally an adult. Though we can't promise that you've gotten our hearts aflutter with your coming-of-age, but Aamir Khan definitely deserves a hat tip for having dared to appear almost in the buff.
The actor deserves extra credit for going ahead with the photo-shoot because he's not the one you'd think of first when you think of actors with an aversion to pants. He looks alarmed, the kind of alarm you'd expect to see on Rahul Gandhi's face if someone told him he has won an election. Or on Yo Yo Honey Singh's face if you asked him to write two sentences without references to girls, booze or a party in them. Or on Poonam Pandey's face if you told her Twitter's going to shut down.
So here are a few questions that cross our mind after Khan uncovered himself for our benefit on Twitter.
1. Will Veet consider replacing Katrina Kaif with Aamir Khan in its commercials? You could still maybe spot a hair on Prem Chopra's head, but on Aamir Khan in this poster? No way! If that's not evidence of fabulous hair-removal machinery at work, we don't know what is.
Which also brings us to the question of metro-sexuality. Given that Khan is seen in a (slightly dangerous) public space like on train tracks, will he paunch-shame Indian men to never appear in public until they have a bundle of muscles for a body? That's sure going to be one big public-funded first step for the beautification of public spaces in the country. Given our skewed gender balance, we're sure it'd be a successful one too.
2. Directed by Rajkumar Hirani, the film promises to be a "satire on Hindu gods and their godmen", which raises the obvious next question: will Aamir Khan be chased out of Twitter? Or will Dinanath Batra demand Bollywood and Aamir Khan be included in the list of India's greatest ailment in school textbooks, alongside malaria?
Since sections of the country were up in arms against a Sunny Leone poster from Jism 2 and Ramlila Maidan's romance with Arvind Kejriwal is almost over, will we see the birth of a new breed of slogan-chanters, thanks to naked Aamir Khan who intends to take on Hindu godmen? Also, as we are on issue of Hindu godmen, will Baba Ramdev now think twice before flashing his armpits as a traumatised country watches in horror. Though chances are he will offer an ayurvedic pill to boost the immunity of body hair to Khan, we can still afford to be a little optimistic, right?
3. Will Khan pull a Ranbir Kapoor and completely dethrone the latter's butt from its hitherto un-threatened pedestal? Kapoor could have remained as only as memorable as Amisha Patel, given how well Sawaariyaa did at the box-offices. However, it was the promise of his posterior behind a towel that kept him afloat in public memory and saw him through to his next film. The rest is history. You cannot also blame Kapoor for not rewarding loyalists. In Besharam (2013), Kapoor awarded a glimpse of his butt-crack for full five seconds, making sure his butt glory remains intact.
The question is, will Aamir Khan finally manage to do the impossible? Or will only the rail tracks visible on the poster know who won the butt battle between Kapoor and Khan?
4. And then, will the transistor find new takers? Given the length (no pun intended) it has gone to in order to stage a comeback, it definitely deserves a second lease of life.
5. Finally, after PK, will Aamir Khan promise to cover up? For good, that is. Will he realise that he has had enough of enjoying his right to strip in a democracy and take pity on us watchers? Because that bust (and we deliberately call it a bust), is fast on its way to replace Rekha's wig from Khoon Bhari Maang as the weirdest thing to have ever struck Bollywood.
Copyright: firstpost.com
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